Why Do People Dislike Therapy?
I get it: telling a complete stranger your deepest darkest secrets doesn’t seem all that appealing at first.
Therapy is intimidating; it requires a person to let go of the armor they’ve been wearing basically their entire lives. First, you have to admit that something is wrong with you, then you pay someone to poke and prod until they can tell you all the reasons why.
Sounds like a joke, huh? That’s because this is a completely wrong view of what therapy is!
So many people refuse to go to therapy is because they don’t want to believe that something is “wrong with them.”
This is directly tied to the horrible mental health stigma. As far as we’ve come in our views on mental health, there exists a huge fear around these experiences; people don’t want to be labeled as “crazy” or “unstable,” so they hide their true feelings and bottle them up. They may also be worried about the therapist judging them for their choices or telling them what to do.
What people don’t realize is that labeling people as crazy and unstable only perpetuates this stigma. Being so closed off about mental health only creates a message that it’s something to be ashamed of. It’s time to make these absolutely valid emotions more visible! Nobody sits around and points fingers at people with other health conditions like Cancer or Crohns Disease, right? So what makes depression so different?
You can tell I’m really passionate about this. But I’m serious about how damaging it can be to have this perspective. Not only for society at large, but for individuals who feel these emotions and don’t get access to help for them.
It also may be the case that since people are waiting for something to be “wrong,” they ignore the harmful behavior when things feel like they’re going “right.”
Since a person’s mood and life events fluctuate, it can be easy to discount the need for therapy when they’re not anxious or when they’re not angry at their parents. On the good days, they may even think they can overcome these feelings alone or that they don’t need anybody’s help. And, sure, maybe you can, but why should you? What’s holding you back from getting support from someone who wants to help and is there to help you?
I guess all of this goes back to one big point:
You don’t have to have something “wrong with you” to go to therapy; this open and non-judgmental space is for everyone.
So what is therapy actually like?
Think therapy is like the scenario we talked about at the beginning? Try this perspective instead:
Therapy gives you the chance to finally let go of the armor you’ve been wearing most of your life.
Your appointment gets to be the one place you don’t have to pretend to have it all together. It’s the chance to connect with a part of yourself that’s been forced into hiding — that’s been beat down by the world around them. It’s the chance to hug your inner child and tell them it’s okay, that they’re not alone, that they’re forgiven.
Meeting with your therapist is a lot like meeting with another kind of healthcare provider.
You tell them your symptoms — or what’s been going on and how it has been affecting you — and they help pinpoint where the pain may be coming from and ways to address it.
Your therapist is also a great person to process random life events with.
Confused about how to budget and save money? Have a question about that weird thing your coworker said that left you on edge? Need to rant about your roommate’s noisy chewing? If it’s important to you, it’s important to your therapist!
So I know that it sounds really intimidating - and maybe unappealing - at first. But a lot of the time, that’s only because of a stigmatized view of what psychotherapy is all about!
What do you think of therapy now? Curious?